Hmm. Thought experiments.
What if? What if I could stop this?
What if I didn’t say anything?
What if there were reprisals?
What if I put my mental health at risk?
What if there was no support network for after the ordeal?
All valid thoughts. All eventually had answers.
So far, so good, this month has been great! After dealing with a few unpleasant things over the last few months, this month has been the best in a long time.
I’ve just got back from a brief family visit to England and am now looking into what is probably going to be the most strenuous change of lifestyle since I moved abroad.RedHeat, June 2004
A man who I knew would still be preying on young boys was found still abusing children but nobody had come forward to do anything about it. Without any evidence, the authorities would not intervene, until I arrived in England, back on the scene. He was sent to trial and then to prison on my testimony.
Take that, you bastard.
This caused so much turbulence in my life, it took many years of help to overcome the trauma of the trial as well as the brutally refreshed memories of the past. The truth is the abuse happened to me and nothing will change that but what I didn’t understand for so long is that I have nothing to feel guilty about. What I did was right.
I am finally at peace.
The piece below is from some time between 2003 and 2004, it took months to set the above in motion, so naturally it reflected in my music. Looking back from 2022 it is clear there is a shy tone of despair in this piece. Just know that everything turned out alright.
A fairly simple piano piece with light instrumentation.