Not too late. Just in time!

It’s true.

1000 people.

From all over the world


NASA – Do you copy, over. Ksssshk.

Anticipation at maximum attainable threshold. ksssshk. Over. Kssssshk.

Dear Diary: On the 29th (Friday) is my 38th

I was very, very, very drunk. I try not to drink. Ebbs the flow, booze does.

  • Sober is cool, and zoned is best.
  • Non-binary programming, married for love & life.
  • Probably a Tree.
  • Proud of my nephew.

Zoned – The Martian


This also becomes available on Spotify & elsewhere, everywhere. Because we can. It’s from almost 20 years ago. Potato quality. Friday 29th September 2017.

  • Aaardappeltjes
  • Aaaaaaaardappels.
  • 29 tracks
  • 3 hours long*
  • Red Reflections
  • In the mud

*it is actually two hours long, but it will feel like three. On Mars.

 Buy into something worth the money!

LAST CHANCE TO BE ONE OF THE FIRST 1000 FOUNDING MEMBERS OF THE MARS GENERATIONfull disclosure: I’m not affiliated other than being a paid-up member. Only 5 days left? The opportunity is there. Send kids to space camp, from anywhere. Education? Yup. Stuff I wish I could have had whilst growing up? Yup.

Dream big, act big.

Ages of descent

  • 7-12 years old: Soak schoolmates with vinegar & bicarbonate in a wine bottle. Use a lot of vinegar, and as much bicarbonate as you can put in before it does what it is supposed to do which was scorch the classroom ceiling of Hobmoor School for more than 25 years- it has since been demolished because no matter how many times they attempted a repair, the stains would eat through and appear =) I have just realised I may have been a fairytale in many many children’s imaginations. Yikes. Mrs L Williams is still the most memorable & encouragingly sweet teacher that ever existed. She used to wear dresses with fractal designs on them.
  • 13-16 years old: While operating a pirate BBS & node (SOL) via CB radio (27mhz) with international mail forwarding- without the internet, start a business making smoke flares (mind the B-word around here) from sugar and a certain unavailable-since-the-90s common garden fertiliser. Do charity work to establish prefect or head boy status. Use status as cover to stay off the radar. Stay cautious. The entire highschool was evacuated to the games field after a customer deployed one of my bespoke flares in the boys toilets. Lode Heath School. Solihull, UK. Note when the law was changed in the UK to ban the substance from garden shop shelves. Smile. “Rocket Propellant” 😼.
  • The year before: Predict the outcome of Fifth Element as being approximately 120 years from now, except it’s Earth, metaphorically.
  • Today: ⚖️ Be good to each other. That’s all.

Excellent 😀